I had a conversation with Adam Lane Smith on the podcast. He’s an attachment specialist who helps people to heal, connect and build healthy relationships. Adam has coached clients through his attachment method for years, and he’s helped people from a variety of lifestyles, from blue collar families with marital troubles to millionaire CEOs looking for dating help, anyone looking to fix their dating life, marriage, or overall health of all relationships.
Adam spent six years in graduate school to get his master’s degree in psychology. Then spent three additional years of apprenticeship under five different clinicians with three or four different licensure types. It took him nine years to become a psychotherapist.
In this interview between myself and Adam Lane Smith, Adam shares his expertise as an attachment specialist and discusses how he helps people heal, connect, and build healthier relationships. Adam’s journey began 15 years ago when he decided to fix his own attachment issues. As a child, he struggled with insecurity and had difficulty expressing his needs and building meaningful connections. Through personal growth and introspection, he was able to improve his relationships and wanted to help others do the same.
Adam explains that attachment is the way humans connect and give/receive love. It involves building secure connections where trust, honesty, and support are present. However, many people struggle with attachment due to negative experiences in their past. Adam emphasizes the importance of understanding attachment and its impact on one’s life.
When it comes to attachment, Adam clarifies that it extends beyond relationships with people. It can also manifest in attachment to material possessions, social media, and other external factors. He explains that both types of attachment can result in an unhealthy obsession with seeking dopamine highs.
The most common form of attachment is secure attachment, where individuals trust themselves and others to meet their needs in a healthy and supportive manner. Adam emphasizes that secure attachment is the ideal type that people should strive for. However, he also discusses the two common types of insecure attachment: anxious attachment and avoidant attachment. Anxious attachment is characterized by a fear of abandonment and a constant need for validation, while avoidant attachment involves keeping others at a distance to avoid being hurt or betrayed.
Adam believes that raising awareness about attachment is crucial for personal growth and development. He encourages individuals to learn about attachment and understand its impact on their lives. By becoming aware of their attachment style and its origins, people can begin to take action and make positive changes.
Adam outlines a five-step action plan for addressing attachment issues.
Before the steps it’s important to learn about attachment and its implications.
- Step one involves identifying and defining your core values as a person. This step helps individuals understand their own principles and ensure that their actions align with their values.
- Step two is to recognize how attachment issues have led to a violation of those core values. By understanding the negative patterns and behaviors associated with attachment, individuals can start to address and change them.
- Step three involves challenging and changing negative thought patterns and beliefs about oneself and others. This step requires introspection and self-reflection to reframe negative narratives and replace them with positive and empowering beliefs.
- Step four focuses on building healthier relationships by setting boundaries, communicating needs, and fostering trust and intimacy.
- Step five is about continuous growth and improvement. It involves ongoing self-awareness, learning, and seeking support from professionals or mentors when needed.
By following this action plan, individuals can begin to heal their attachment wounds, develop healthier patterns of connection, and lead more fulfilling lives. Adam’s work as an attachment specialist has helped countless individuals navigate their relationships, build stronger connections, and achieve personal growth.
Overall, this interview with Adam Lane Smith provides valuable insights into attachment theory and offers practical steps for individuals to address their attachment issues and improve their relationships. By understanding the impact of attachment on our lives, we can take proactive steps towards healing, connecting, and building healthier relationships.
For more information on Adam visit his website: https://adamlanesmith.com/
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